Why the season premiere of Mike and Molly was a big fat lie.

Mike-Molly-Logo

In the season opener of Mike and Molly, Molly comes home from the Iowa Writers Workshop program (which I’m not sure she actually would have gotten into writing romance, but I digress) having written part of a “kind of porn” romance novel. The real kicker comes when she reveals that she’s sold the partially written book to a publisher for a lot of money by pulling out the advance check and showing it off.

An advance we later find out is enough to buy a brand new Dodge Challenger (starting price of the model she bought based on it having a heated steering wheel is $30,500).

I don’t usually watch this show and I’m not sure what made it turn it on that night, but since I did, let’s discuss all the nonsense I just laid out.

  1. Romance novels being referred to as “kind of porn” is just another example of why the romance genre continues to get no respect in the industry.
  2. If anyone knows of a publisher willing to buy a partial from an unknown writer for $30,000 feel free to tell me who that publisher is in the comments. I don’t think you’ll be able to. You know why? Because it doesn’t happen.
  3. She came home with the advance check after eight weeks? Let’s say it only took her a week to write that partial. That’s me being super generous. So in seven weeks time, she submitted, got the offer, vetted the contract, signed it, returned it and got the advance check? In real life that can take six months. Or longer.

Besides all that nonsense, what bothers me the most is the perpetuation of the myth that writers are rolling in it. And that they start rolling it from day one. And that writing is So Easy Anyone Can Do It.

Those kinds of lies are, I think, part of the excuse some readers give as to why they pirate books. They think we’re loaded so what’s it going to hurt if they steal our books and read them for free?

If those lies were true, why do so many writers have day jobs? In some cases more than one. Honestly, the writers of this show have to know better. I mean, they’re writers!! I can’t believe they don’t know what it’s really like in the trenches of publishing.

Of course, when has Hollywood really portrayed anything the way it actually happens?


A vampire/pixie reunion romance

 

Double Nothing Small

Yes, you read that right. I just wrote a vampire/pixie reunion romance. I’m crazy like that.

Welcome to Las Vegas, home of the Sin City Collectors. The job description is easy: Bring the offending supernatural in to the Boss and don’t ask any questions. 

Gage Hudson is a vampire on a mission. All he wants—all he’s ever wanted—is to locate the vampire who killed his brother and exact his revenge. Even if that means losing his job as a Gotham City Collector. And he knows what loss feels like, because his desire for revenge has already cost him the love of his life.

Sin City Collector and pixie Minka Winslow has revenge fantasies of her own and they all involve Gage. When he walked out on her with no explanation, she took the heat for the Collection he ruined. Fortunately for him, she’s put that part of her life behind her.

At least until the two are forced to work together to stay alive. When an enemy from their past returns to threaten them, they have no choice but to reconcile long enough to survive. Then new information changes everything. Just how much will they gamble to make things work this time?

What’s Collected in Vegas, stays in Vegas…

*All Sin City Collectors Novellas are stand alone novellas, all set within the world of the SCC. Our goal is for you to sit back and enjoy the ride as each author presents their unique story. The world of the Sin City Collectors is big. Places and characters will overlap, so be sure to look for your favorites and stay tuned for more novellas!

Kindle: http://amzn.to/1pzp5BE
Kobo: http://bit.ly/1pzpkwE
iBooks: http://bit.ly/1vhHHqN
Nook: http://bit.ly/1s5pojD


*QUESTION*

mustache cat

In light of how FB is making it harder and harder for me to connect with you guys, my readers, I want your suggestions on how to better stay in touch. I have a newsletter, but most of you haven’t signed up for it (there’s a link on the front page of my website and under More on my FB page), so that doesn’t seem to be the answer. I also have a blog, but have let that lapse in favor of interaction here.

What can I do to stay in touch with you guys? I want your input!




Five fantasy romance novels for .99

Darkly Dreaming coverBig News! I’m part of an amazing box set that’s releasing September 15th. Five gorgeous, full length fantasy romance novels by authors Elizabeth Hunter, Grace Draven, Danielle Monsch, Cate Rowan and myself – all for .99! But it’s a limited time offer from 9/15 to 10/15 so preorder now! Here are the links:

Amazon: http://amzn.to/1sR1J7b
iBooks: http://bit.ly/1o627fe
Smashwords: http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/471319

And here’s a little sample of what each novel is about:

Feared by a priesthood. Coveted by a god. Tempted by a slave. In Grace Draven’s MASTER OF CROWS, a renegade mage must battle a god for his soul and decide if his fate—and the fate of nations—is worth the life of the spy he has come to love.

Experience sword, sorcery, and mythical beings as never before in STONE GUARDIAN, the first book of the Entwined Realms by Danielle Monsch. Larissa’s sheltered world is destroyed when she is targeted by Necromancers. With nowhere else to turn, Larissa forms an uneasy alliance with Terak, leader of the Gargoyles. Will Terak be Larissa’s salvation, or her downfall?

Sometimes love is the most dangerous magic of all. In HEART OF FIRE by Kristen Painter, Jessalyne leaves a sheltered life to tame her dangerous magic by becoming apprentice to a powerful sorceress, but she’ll need the deadliest man in the realm to get her there safely. If they don’t kill each other first.

Be swept away in KISMET’S KISS by Cate Rowan. In the desert realm of Kad, a deadly epidemic strikes the palace of Sultan Kuramos. Only a mystical healer from an enemy land may have the skill to save his household. But he never imagined that healer would be a woman.

Hidden at the crossroads of the world, an ancient race battles to protect humanity, even as it dies from within. Ava comes to modern day Istanbul in THE SCRIBE, the first book in the Irin Chronicles by Elizabeth Hunter. One woman searching for answers finds a reluctant guardian in a warrior whose magic is written on his skin. But does Ava have magic of her own?



QUEEN OF HEARTS REVIEW BLITZ

review blitzAttention Readers! Y’all are going to want to read this!!!

Any new review posted for my new novella Queen Of Hearts on Amazon.com before Midnight EST on July 16th 2014 can choose either an awesome skull logo messenger bag OR their choice of signed book from the House of Comarré series.

Amazon Verified Purchases will ALSO receive a signed bookmark with their choice of prize.

TO CLAIM, SEND AN EMAIL to MELANIE (my PA) at VampireLovingDork@Gmail.com with the heading QUEEN OF HEARTS REVIEW BLITZ.

In your email you MUST include the LINK to your amazon.com review, your proper name and mailing address, your choice of prize, and let Melanie know if it is an amazon verified purchase or not.

Need a copy of Queen of Hearts?

Pick one up here:
Amazon: http://amzn.to/1wChLVj
iTunes: http://bit.ly/1lo0N4S
Kobo: http://bit.ly/1m0ENTK
B&N: http://bit.ly/1pTqoZG

Please note that only reviews posted on Amazon.com are eligible BUT reviews posted anywhere else are always appreciated.

**THIS IS NOT A GIVEAWAY**

*Disclaimer and Rules – Due to mailing costs unfortunately this review blitz is only open to residents of the continental US. All reviews must be posted ON AMAZON.COM between Midnight July 1st and Midnight July 16th 2014 to qualify. All prizes will be mailed out between July 17th and July 20th. Questions can be mailed to Melanie at the above address. One prize per reader/ mailing address.*


Guess who’s got a new book out today?

paranormal romance, urban fantasy, kristen painter, amanda carlson

QUEEN OF HEARTS is now live!

The blurb:

Welcome to Las Vegas, home of the Sin City Collectors. The job description is easy: Bring the offending supernatural in to the Boss and don’t ask any questions.

Feline shifter Claudette Marchon traded life as a showgirl to become a Sin City Collector, giving up the glamour to earn some serious cash in order to buy her own business. Mission accomplished, she now runs a pawn shop specializing in gems and jewelry.

Life is good until a Collection job requiring her specific skill set lures her back in. The Queen of Hearts, a museum-worthy ruby and diamond necklace has been stolen from the Boss’s private collection and she’s his last hope to do what two other Collectors have already failed to do. Bring in the necklace. And the thief.

But gargoyle Jason Tennant isn’t quite the dangerous criminal Claudette expects. In fact, he’s not a thief at all. He’s former Special Ops and being set up by the real mastermind, forcing her to decide between the man she’s falling for and the man she works for. Proving Jason innocent may risk the Boss’s wrath, but Claudette’s heart says it’s a gamble worth taking.

What’s Collected in Vegas, stays in Vegas…

*All Sin City Collectors Novellas are stand alone novellas, all set within the world of the SCC. Our goal is for you to sit back and enjoy the ride as each author presents their unique story. The world of the Sin City Collectors is big. Places and characters will overlap, so be sure to look for your favorites and stay tuned for more novellas!

Pick up your copy here:
Kindle: http://amzn.to/1wChLVj
iTunes: http://bit.ly/1lo0N4S
Kobo: http://bit.ly/1m0ENTK
B&N: http://bit.ly/1pTqoZG

Missed Aces Wild, the first Sin City Collectors installment? Get it here:

Kindle: http://amzn.to/RXAZoM
Nook: http://bit.ly/1oUzp3j
iTunes: http://bit.ly/U39hZL
Kobo: http://bit.ly/1k4RplO
Google: http://bit.ly/1ngvC0e


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