How I ended up with five staples in my head

Yesterday (Saturday) started like pretty much every other day. I woke up, sat up (thought about coffee) and ended up with my tablet in my lap, checking sales and emails and social media like the good little author that I am.

It stopped being a typical Saturday at about 8:15, when this adorable cat (Lily):Lily in bed

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Pushed this piece of coral, which is about the size of a volleyball and weighs roughly eight pounds, off the window sill above our bed and…

coral

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Onto my head. See, she likes to lay on the window above our bed like this (her head is right where the coral used to be): 

Lily in the window

 

 

 

 

 

After the first moments of blinding pain subsided enough for me to realize what had happened, I was then hit by waves of dizziness and nausea. A few deep breaths and I felt the top of my head. My hand came away bloody. I’m not good with blood. Yes, I know I write vampires and urban fantasy and things that go bump in the night, but blood makes me faint. We all have our burdens.

I somehow got my husband’s attention (maybe by waving my bloody hand at him?) – he was outside with the rest of the cats, none of whom have tried to kill us up to this point – and we determined a trip to the ER was in order.

Somehow I got dressed and a few minutes later we were in the ER. Apparently, Saturday morning is the best time to get hit on the head by a giant lump of souvenir coral because there was no one else in the waiting room. For once in my life, my timing was on point.

They took us back and after a field sobriety test (or something like it) to determine how dizzy I was, the doctor decided that while I was mildly concussed (fun word concussed, and not one you get to use that often) I could go without the cat scan (there’s a joke in there somewhere about how this was caused by a cat, but my head hurts too much to come up with it) but that I should definitely get a tetanus shot and that the inch and a half gash in my scalp should be closed up.

For fear of passing out again, I did not watch the tetanus shot. (Yes, I also have a thing with needles. Shut up.) It hurt like a mother. In fact, this morning my arm feels like I was punched by a roving gorilla. Why roving? Well, it’s not like there’s one that hangs out around here.

Then the doc anesthetized my head. More needles. IN MY HEAD. After that he dabbed on some more numbing stuff and told me, “This is going to sting.” And it did. Like a poultice of bees. FUN. Once that was over, he probed a bit to make sure my skull wasn’t cracked (Awesome. Did not know that was a possibility.) Thankfully, it wasn’t, but in the course of doing all that poking, my headed started to bleed again. Like, a lot. To the point that I felt like the star of a local production of Carrie where the titular high school character is played by a middle-aged (but holding up well) author. Seriously. You should see my t-shirt. You would have thought I’d been hit in the head by something really big and really heavy. Wait…

The doctor then got his surgical stapler out and went to town. Five staples. Five. Despite the liberal application of numbing agents, I still felt them. And if that’s what getting pierced feels like, there’s no way you’ll ever see me with anything more than my earrings. Yowch. I’ll spare you the picture of those staples, but I did make my husband document the event.

After that, the top of my head was throbbing like a teenage girl’s heart at the sight of One Direction. I made my husband take me to a drive thru for a chocolate shake on the way home and pretty much spent the rest of the day in bed. Feeling much better now, in case you were wondering. Sore, but decent. And no, Lily didn’t mean it. 

How was your Saturday?


Come hear the awesome Hugh Howey speak!

Want to hear Hugh Howey speak? He’s coming to my RWA chapter and they’ve decided to open it to the public. More details here:http://authorsofromance.com/…/…/2-uncategorised/86-hughhowey

He’s a great speaker and has a lot of wonderful info to share about self publishing.



Free Ebook from me!

 

Get Queen of Hearts for free!

Kindle: http://amzn.to/1wChLVj
iBooks: http://bit.ly/1lo0N4S
Kobo: http://bit.ly/1m0ENTK

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Why the season premiere of Mike and Molly was a big fat lie.

Mike-Molly-Logo

In the season opener of Mike and Molly, Molly comes home from the Iowa Writers Workshop program (which I’m not sure she actually would have gotten into writing romance, but I digress) having written part of a “kind of porn” romance novel. The real kicker comes when she reveals that she’s sold the partially written book to a publisher for a lot of money by pulling out the advance check and showing it off.

An advance we later find out is enough to buy a brand new Dodge Challenger (starting price of the model she bought based on it having a heated steering wheel is $30,500).

I don’t usually watch this show and I’m not sure what made it turn it on that night, but since I did, let’s discuss all the nonsense I just laid out.

  1. Romance novels being referred to as “kind of porn” is just another example of why the romance genre continues to get no respect in the industry.
  2. If anyone knows of a publisher willing to buy a partial from an unknown writer for $30,000 feel free to tell me who that publisher is in the comments. I don’t think you’ll be able to. You know why? Because it doesn’t happen.
  3. She came home with the advance check after eight weeks? Let’s say it only took her a week to write that partial. That’s me being super generous. So in seven weeks time, she submitted, got the offer, vetted the contract, signed it, returned it and got the advance check? In real life that can take six months. Or longer.

Besides all that nonsense, what bothers me the most is the perpetuation of the myth that writers are rolling in it. And that they start rolling it from day one. And that writing is So Easy Anyone Can Do It.

Those kinds of lies are, I think, part of the excuse some readers give as to why they pirate books. They think we’re loaded so what’s it going to hurt if they steal our books and read them for free?

If those lies were true, why do so many writers have day jobs? In some cases more than one. Honestly, the writers of this show have to know better. I mean, they’re writers!! I can’t believe they don’t know what it’s really like in the trenches of publishing.

Of course, when has Hollywood really portrayed anything the way it actually happens?


A vampire/pixie reunion romance

 

Double Nothing Small

Yes, you read that right. I just wrote a vampire/pixie reunion romance. I’m crazy like that.

Welcome to Las Vegas, home of the Sin City Collectors. The job description is easy: Bring the offending supernatural in to the Boss and don’t ask any questions. 

Gage Hudson is a vampire on a mission. All he wants—all he’s ever wanted—is to locate the vampire who killed his brother and exact his revenge. Even if that means losing his job as a Gotham City Collector. And he knows what loss feels like, because his desire for revenge has already cost him the love of his life.

Sin City Collector and pixie Minka Winslow has revenge fantasies of her own and they all involve Gage. When he walked out on her with no explanation, she took the heat for the Collection he ruined. Fortunately for him, she’s put that part of her life behind her.

At least until the two are forced to work together to stay alive. When an enemy from their past returns to threaten them, they have no choice but to reconcile long enough to survive. Then new information changes everything. Just how much will they gamble to make things work this time?

What’s Collected in Vegas, stays in Vegas…

*All Sin City Collectors Novellas are stand alone novellas, all set within the world of the SCC. Our goal is for you to sit back and enjoy the ride as each author presents their unique story. The world of the Sin City Collectors is big. Places and characters will overlap, so be sure to look for your favorites and stay tuned for more novellas!

Kindle: http://amzn.to/1pzp5BE
Kobo: http://bit.ly/1pzpkwE
iBooks: http://bit.ly/1vhHHqN
Nook: http://bit.ly/1s5pojD


*QUESTION*

mustache cat

In light of how FB is making it harder and harder for me to connect with you guys, my readers, I want your suggestions on how to better stay in touch. I have a newsletter, but most of you haven’t signed up for it (there’s a link on the front page of my website and under More on my FB page), so that doesn’t seem to be the answer. I also have a blog, but have let that lapse in favor of interaction here.

What can I do to stay in touch with you guys? I want your input!


Get House of the Rising Sun for only 1.99!

SALE! House of the Rising Sun is only $1.99! Here’s your chance to check it out cheap – but don’t wait, the sale ends in December!

Amazon
Kobo
Nook
iBooks

HOUSE promo graphic


Darkly Dreaming giveaway!

darklydreamingsale

 

Click here to enter our giveaway!

Use these links to pick up a copy of this amazing box set for yourself:

Amazon – http://amzn.to/1sR1J7b
Nook – http://tinyurl.com/km4npvt
IBooks – http://bit.ly/1o627fe
Smashwords – http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/471319


Five fantasy romance novels for .99

Darkly Dreaming coverBig News! I’m part of an amazing box set that’s releasing September 15th. Five gorgeous, full length fantasy romance novels by authors Elizabeth Hunter, Grace Draven, Danielle Monsch, Cate Rowan and myself – all for .99! But it’s a limited time offer from 9/15 to 10/15 so preorder now! Here are the links:

Amazon: http://amzn.to/1sR1J7b
iBooks: http://bit.ly/1o627fe
Smashwords: http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/471319

And here’s a little sample of what each novel is about:

Feared by a priesthood. Coveted by a god. Tempted by a slave. In Grace Draven’s MASTER OF CROWS, a renegade mage must battle a god for his soul and decide if his fate—and the fate of nations—is worth the life of the spy he has come to love.

Experience sword, sorcery, and mythical beings as never before in STONE GUARDIAN, the first book of the Entwined Realms by Danielle Monsch. Larissa’s sheltered world is destroyed when she is targeted by Necromancers. With nowhere else to turn, Larissa forms an uneasy alliance with Terak, leader of the Gargoyles. Will Terak be Larissa’s salvation, or her downfall?

Sometimes love is the most dangerous magic of all. In HEART OF FIRE by Kristen Painter, Jessalyne leaves a sheltered life to tame her dangerous magic by becoming apprentice to a powerful sorceress, but she’ll need the deadliest man in the realm to get her there safely. If they don’t kill each other first.

Be swept away in KISMET’S KISS by Cate Rowan. In the desert realm of Kad, a deadly epidemic strikes the palace of Sultan Kuramos. Only a mystical healer from an enemy land may have the skill to save his household. But he never imagined that healer would be a woman.

Hidden at the crossroads of the world, an ancient race battles to protect humanity, even as it dies from within. Ava comes to modern day Istanbul in THE SCRIBE, the first book in the Irin Chronicles by Elizabeth Hunter. One woman searching for answers finds a reluctant guardian in a warrior whose magic is written on his skin. But does Ava have magic of her own?


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